Gump Posted March 8, 2013 Share Posted March 8, 2013 This is a published short story of mine that I wrote in my Creative Writing class last semester. It revolves around death and how it effects everyone. I wrote it for a few reasons, actually: I was asked by Student Counsel to write a short story and present it at a school presentation to talk about drunk driving and the dangers of it, and... To help deal with my own personal fears of death I would like to say while I'm not a religious person, the story does use the concept of Heaven and has a minor part dealing with a god. I would like to say even if you are not religious yourself to give the story a chance and understand that it is merely a device used by me to what I hope the afterlife to be like should there be one. Please and thank you. The story clocks in at about 4,500 words, so it's not terribly wrong. It may be a 10-20 minute read, maybe even less. The plot revolves on two characters: Vincent and Marianne, both college students on Winter Break. The story changes between points of view of the two of them except the first two chapters, which are told from the perspective of Vincent. From there on however, each chapter revolves around the others perspective. So Chapter 3 is told by Marianne, while Chapter 4 is told by Vincent, and so on and so forth. My Life is Gone Chapter 1: My girlfriend and I started walking towards my car. We had a great night; movie, dancing and ice cream. As we opened the car doors and entered the old 2001 Mercedes E Class, she said something to me that started up all the butterflies in my stomach. “I love you,†she whispered. I didn’t exactly know how to respond. It was the first time she had ever said something to me like that. I mean, I wanted to respond with “I love you, too†but I couldn’t. So we just sat there awkwardly, and she gave me a confused look. “I’m sorry… did I say something wrong?†said asked. “No, it’s just… I’m a little bit shy. I don’t know how to respond to that. I mean, I want to say ‘I love you’ back but… I don’t know,†I responded. “Oh, I see. Well, it’s okay. Just thought that after 1 year you’d finally be able to say ‘I love you, too’ easily,†she retorted. “I’m… I’m sorry. Really, I am. I do love you,†I said. It then just fell silent, so I started up the car. After driving a few minutes, we started to talk again. Nothing too much, but we talked about the movie and how much we hated it, and things like college. I knew at this very moment this is the girl I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. She was just so beautiful, with her long, dark brown hair, and her seemingly glowing blue eyes. And her personality, grade A+ student with the biggest heart I have ever seen. She was just… just perfect. No other way to describe this girl. We continued along the road, driving past the old pub. I reflected back to when my father used to go there. He’d always come home drunk, but he was a happy drunk. In fact, he was kind of funny. Even when he was drunk we always managed to have a good time. But then he got a call from the doctor, and said he needed to stop, because his addiction would be the death of him. He was reluctant, but he relented. As we continued down the old path, we reached a stop sign. When I saw the coast was clear, I started to turn when I saw the glare of lights hit my mirrors. “Damn!†I screamed at the top of my lungs. I was blinded, and was unable to brake when I felt a crash behind me. I quickly threw my arm over my girlfriend to protect her as my head slammed into the steering wheel. From there on, all I saw was darkness, and heard nothing. Chapter 2: “… Where am I?†I questioned. There was nothing in sight. “Am I… alive? Or, is this the void?†“My child, I hear your voice. Walk towards the light,†a voice beckoned me. I started to wonder where, when all of a sudden a beam of light appeared. I could see into it, it was like a tunnel of light. I walked into it, not questioning how it didn’t leave a glare in my eyes. As I approached the end of the tunnel, I saw what was before me. I was on a white fluffy cloud, and as I exited the void, I looked back. Nothing was there. I wandered around, not knowing what was happening. Eventually, I heard the voice again. “My child, do you understand where you are now?†the voice asked. “Is this… am I… dead? Is this heaven?†I replied. “Yes. This is Heaven. For your courageous actions you displayed in saving Marianne from otherwise certain death, you have been taken to live in paradise.†I looked around, noticing all the little details. White, fluffy clouds under my feet, light posts that looked like cotton, and even buildings made out of solidified cloud. It was beautiful. “This is… This is all so beautiful. It’s perfect. Is there anyone else here?†I questioned. “Yes, of course. You see, we all live together. Everyone who has made it to Heaven gets to live in a world without hatred. People who you once thought were bad have been purified, and now live among us. Excuse me for asking, but have your grandparents passed?†He asked. “Well, my grandpa died a few years back, and my grandma was checked into the hospital for heart problems last I heard,†I responded. “Your grandfather… Mr. Dominic Lorenzo? Lived in the U.S., emigrated from Italy?†he asked. “That seems to be right. I’m amazed that you remember all these people.†I told him. “When you are the ruler of so many people and watch them every step of their lives, you get to know them quite well. If you wish to see your grandfather, he lives in that complex over there. Apartment 205.†He pointed me towards one of the cloud buildings in the area, and I started to walk over. When I reached building, I took note of it. It was a pretty small building, so I wondered how this place could hold at least 205 rooms. The building was called “The Heavenly Suites,†which confused me even more. How this could place have any suites? Suites are hotels with multiple rooms, right? So how could this building hold even 10 suites even if they were the only rooms? I pondered this for a moment then walked in. Chapter 3: I felt a chill go down my spine as my head slammed into the hot airbags. I noticed then my boyfriend’s arm across my chest. “Oh God… what just happened?†I asked myself. I then slowly got out of the car and came around to the other side, as I noticed my boyfriend passed out next to me. I tried waking him up, but noticed it wasn’t working. I then opened the car door and proceeded to take him out. “Hey Vincent, you okay?†I asked. No response. “Vincent, please wake up. Please wake up!†I started to say a little louder. All of a sudden, I heard another car’s door open. I quickly recognized this as the car behind us, the one that hit us. A man came out and started rushing towards me. “Oh God, oh God. This can’t be happening,†the man said. “Oh God. Call 911! Oh God, oh God.†Shoot, why haven’t I yet? I got my cell phone out and dialed 911. I asked for an ambulance and for the police. They told me they would be here momentarily. I then rushed to Vincent again. I heard the man ask, “Are they coming?†I responded yes, and asked why. “I… I don’t think you’re prepared for this. He’s… dead. He died on impact.†At that very moment, I could only feel anger. The man, who killed the one I loved, was telling me that Vincent died on impact. “What the hell? Are you serious? Is that all you can say?†I responded. “Miss, I’m sorry, I…†“No, shut the hell up. You mean nothing to me. You killed the one I love, and you have the audacity to tell me he is dead?†“You have to calm down!†“NO I DON’T!†I said stamping my foot down. All of a sudden I started crying. I never thought I’d lose Vincent. I mean, I never thought I’d lose anyone again, not at this stage in my life. It just feels like I just wasted a year, and it was neither of our faults. This man just killed him. Took him away from me and gave him as a gift to God. “Ma’am, I know you’re deeply hurt right now. I can only express my sorrow not only for him, but for you, too. This is my fault; I know that a hundred percent. I don’t think I could do anything to fix this,†the man pleaded. For a long time, nothing happened. I just sat and cried, and he paced back and forth. It seemed like forever until the police and ambulance arrived. When they came, they arrested the man and took my boyfriend away. Forever. Chapter 4: To my amazement, the main lobby was quite large. It was confusing; how could this place look so small but be so large? I thought the best way to find out would be to ask the receptionist, so I walked up to her desk. “Hi, I have a question. I’m new around here, so I was wondering, how come this room is so large while the outside looks so small? It doesn’t make much sense to me, really,†I asked. “You see, the physical world works a bit differently than the world we live in. In order to make room for all our occupants, we are able to manipulate space in order to make large places take up less room. It’s one of the wonders of living here,†she responded. At that moment it finally made all the more sense to me. I told the receptionist thanks, and started walking towards my grandpa’s room. I walked up two sets of stairs before I found the 200 wing. From there, his room was a measly ten steps exactly. I knocked on the door, and out came my grandpa. “Is that you, Vincent? What’re you doing here?†my grandpa asked. “I, uh, guess I died. It’s weird to think about, but here I am,†I said. “But… how? Why?†“I was riding in my car with my girlfriend, and we got into a car accident. Some guy hit the back of my car when I was turning a corner.†“Oh my, are you dealing with this okay?†“What do you mean?†“Like, have you thought about your parents? Your brother? Your friends?†That’s when it hit me; they’re gone. Not in the same way as one would think, but to me they’re gone. My dad, my mom, my brother and even my girlfriend. I can’t see them, at least for a while. It’s a weird concept to think about. “I guess… I sort of forgot about them. I’ve only just arrived, and hadn’t really thought about it,†I told him. Wow, in just a flash everything went from perfect to horrible. Everyone that I love is in an entirely different world. For the few relatives I have up here, I can see them. But that’s it. I began to think about my girlfriend, Marianne and soon after, began to weep. Chapter 5: “Ma’am, we will take you home. Climb in the back of the car and just tell us where you live,†a police officer said to me. It was only half an hour, but it felt like an eternity while the police questioned me and the other driver. Apparently his name is Kevin McLloyd and was 38 years old. He also had a wife, Elizabeth and he has two kids. I felt bad for his family, but not for him. He deserves the harshest punishment available. Even after that, I don’t think it’s enough. This man ruined so many lives; his family, my boyfriend’s family, and mine. It’s so senseless and stupid; all he had to do was call a cab or a friend. Instead, he got behind the wheel and killed my best friend. “I’d like to offer my condolences,†one officer said. “You shouldn’t have to go through something like this; you’re too young. It’s not fair. I bet your boyfriend was a real good man.†“One of the best,†I responded. We didn’t say anything for the rest of the way home. When the police dropped me off at my home, my mother came out crying running towards me. She crashed into my shoulder and continued to cry into it. “Honey, are you okay?! Where’s Vincent?†she asked me. Vincent. He was gone. I soon started to cry with her. I explained how he, like a valiant soldier defending his country, saved my life at the cost of his. I also explained the killer was a drunk driver who had a family. “My God, that is terrible. I can’t believe this. Vincent was always such a good kid; the only boy your dad actually liked,†my mother told me. “I just can’t stop thinking about it. I can’t believe some people can be so daft as to get behind the wheel drunk. It makes no sense. I want him to get the harshest punishment available for what he did,†I told her. “Honey, I know you’re angry. But remember, he has a family who did nothing wrong. Do you really want them to suffer, too?†“Wait, are you seriously taking his side right now? He killed my boyfriend and you’re worried about his family? What about me? What about my life?†“I understand where you’re coming from, sweetie. But remember, we are called to forgive. Never do we forget, but we do forgive. You never wish harm onto another. Would God appreciate it if you wished harm onto one of his people?†“No, he screwed up. Not me and not Vincent. And quite honestly, I don’t believe anymore. How can a God who is supposed to be so pure and so great, take away the ones that we love in an instant? Why doesn’t He do anything?! Is it because He doesn’t exist?!†“Don’t you think He’s asking us the same question? When as humans will we learn from our mistakes? How many lives must be lost before another won’t be?†I can’t believe it; is she actually arguing that the man shouldn’t get the harshest punishment? Is it me, or is everyone going against me today? Whatever, I don’t care. No-one can change these feelings I have. “Fine mom, I’m going to bed. I need to sleep,†I told her. I started walking towards the door. As soon as I began to enter it, I heard her again. “Honey, wait,†she said. But it was too late. I needed to rest on this. That is, if I could rest on it. Chapter 6: My grandfather walked over towards me. He helped me stand up and gave me something to drink. I began to gain composure again as he handed me a piece of paper. “What’s this?†I asked somewhat weepily. “It’s a list of your relatives that I was familiar with. People like your Great Aunt Gianna and Uncle Alfonso. I invited them all here to see you, maybe get your mind off things,†he told me. “Alright, I guess,†I responded. It took a while for them to come over, but they eventually came. We joked, laughed, and just had a great time. That is, until my predicament was brought up again. “Vincent, your grandfather told me what happened,†my Aunt Gianna said. “Oh, he did?†I asked awkwardly. “Yes. I just want you to know you can continue to watch over your friends and family. On the day of your funeral, you will be able to see them just once more. They will not be able to see you, but you can roam as if you are with them.†“I can only see them this once? Never again?†“You can continue to watch over them, but only on your funeral will you be able to walk amongst them. You can find out the day of your funeral on the notice board in the town hall.†I thought about it for a moment. One last chance to be with Marianne? Sounded great, but sad at the same time. Regardless, I needed to take advantage of this. The next morning I went down to the town hall to check on my funeral date. Turns out I was being buried relatively early, 5 more days. I guess all I can do is wait and rest until it is time. Chapter 7: I awoke many times, always thinking about the tragedy. When I finally got up, it was 8am, earlier than I usually get up during school vacation. I took a shower and got dressed, when I noticed my mom sitting with another woman; Vincent’s mom. My mom called me over to sit down and talk. “Good morning, sweetie. I made you some muffins. Mrs. Lorenzo is here, too,†she told me. “Thanks mom. How are you today Mrs. Lorenzo?†I asked. She looked fine before, but after asking her the question she began to break down and cry. I knew what that was about. She missed Vincent, who wouldn’t? “I’m… I’m working on it. It’s only just happened, it’s so weird to walk downstairs and not see Vincent during this time of year. I mean, I’m used to when he’s in college, but he’s never going to walk down and say good morning to me again,†she answered. After that, I began to cry. I understood her completely; Vincent and I had plans to hang out today, and now we can’t. I was used to expecting Vincent to do whatever I wanted. In a selfish way, I took him away from his family. “Vincent’s funeral is this upcoming Wednesday, with the wake being on Tuesday. We elected to have it done quickly. Vincent never liked being the center of attention, so I think it’s best if we get it done as soon as possible. Of course, funerals are very expensive, but I saved a little bit of money over for Vincent’s college. It’ll be nice to use his money for him,†his mom said. “Are you receiving compensation from the other driver’s family?†I asked. “We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. For now, this is about Vincent.†Understandable, I guess. I just thought maybe it would take the financial burden off them a little bit. “We’re going to have the funeral at the old church. We decided to bury him in a new 3-person plot for me and my husband. He will be in between the two of us.†At that moment, I began crying again. The very thought of burying Vincent just didn’t seem right. He was so young, why now? Isn’t there more to this life we live? Was this his purpose, to demonstrate the dangers of drunk driving? My mom was right; it’s us who need to make the change. Not a higher force. After Mrs. Lorenzo left, I just sat up in my room and thought about Vincent. I thought about when we first met in middle school. I always knew he liked me, but I wasn’t interested in him. But when he stood up to one of my ex-boyfriends after he made me cry, I knew there was something about Vincent. He was nervous, but strong. It was wrong of me to push him away for so long, but that didn’t matter to him. Yesterday never bothered him; it was today that concerned him. I wouldn’t be surprised if he stood up for everyone who needed someone. I mean, Vincent wasn’t perfect by any standards, but when it comes to purity I don’t think anyone can come close. I doubt he died with a guilty conscience. You know, I guess you really don’t know what you have until it’s gone. No doubt in my mind anymore. I guess I should tell his friends about the funeral. They’d want to know. I’ve got quite a bit of calls to make now. Chapter 8: It’s already Wednesday, wow. I guess this comes the day of my final goodbyes. It happened all too quick. I went down to the town hall and made arrangements to go back to my old world. It was a fairly quick process, and before I knew it I was right outside the church where it was being held. There was a man I didn’t recognize, so I figured it was one of my parent’s friends. I entered somewhat slowly, and noticed all my friends sitting together. I also noticed someone I didn’t expect to see; an old high school friend whom I had parted ways with due to his drug addiction. I always wanted to make up, but never could. I got close to him when I heard him say something. “Vincent… I’ll never forget you. I know that day I told you to screw off for you telling me to stop doing drugs, but I want to be forgiven for that. It was stupid. I continued to do them anyway, until I learned you died. As an act of forgiveness, I’m done with them. I’m giving them up forever, in respect to you. I never got a chance to ask for forgiveness, so please accept this Vincent,†he said sobbing. I put my arm on his shoulder and told him I forgave him a while ago. I knew he couldn’t hear me, but I thought it was important for me to do so. He was a good kid who just made a bad decision. No-one’s perfect. I continued down the path and reached my parents. My dad was silent, holding my mom while she cried. I gave her one final kiss, and when I did, she stopped crying. It’s as if she knew I was there. In fact, she went as far as to smile. I was being sensed by her. I started to walk away when I heard her whisper “I love you, Vincent.†I finally found Marianne. She sat silent next to her mother. There was an empty seat next to her, so I sat down and gave her a hug. I think I saw her close her eyes as if she were content. I sat there for the rest of the service, just holding her for as long as I possibly could. When it was time for the burial, we all stood up and proceeded towards the cemetery. When we reached the gravesite, the people said one more final prayer. My casket was slowly lowered, and finally released in the hole. It was weird to think that that was me. I was in that casket, being lowered to the very bottom. My time was up as soon as I was buried in the dirt, so I only had minimal time. I began to say things to Marianne. “Marianne, I do love you. Thank you so much for being my girlfriend for so long. I know I wasn’t the best, but I did what I could. I will wait for the day when I see you again.†With that, I gave one last peck on her cheek. As soon as that happened, I noticed I started to dissipate. “Goodbye, until we see each other again my family and friends,†I said for the last moment on I was in this world. I closed my eyes, and awoke outside the town hall. I smiled, and walked to my grandpas apartment where I met an unexpected but familiar person. Chapter 9: Well, it is the day of the funeral. I got ready by putting on some nice clothes and proceeded downstairs. My mom hugged me, and we proceeded to my car. I drove us to the church. When we arrived, I saw all of my friends and Vincent’s. I also saw Vincent’s old friend Timmy. I didn’t invite him here, but I was happy to see him. I remember him getting in a fight with Vincent. I don’t know the details of what happened, but the fact that he came in spite of it really amazed me. I walked into the church and saw another person I never expected to see again. “Hi, Marianne,†a man told me. “Mr. McLloyd? How did you… Why are you…?†I asked “Marianne, I feel completely awful about what I did. The court granted me the permission to come and mourn just for today. I know what I did can never be forgotten, and I deserve everything I get. But I must ask you for your forgiveness.†“I…†I started to cry. I treated this man so cruelly. He might have screwed up but he is human. I know what I must do. “I forgive you. Thank you for coming, Mr. McLloyd.†“If there is anything I can ever do for you, just ask. It’s the absolute least I can do.†“Thanks.†With that, I walked away. I couldn’t stay in the room any longer. I started to cry. I walked to one of the pews and waited until everyone else came in. I sat in the front row, and my mom was able to find me quite easily. While we listened to the sermon, I felt this weird presence, as if Vincent were sitting next to me. I closed my eyes, and embraced the experience. I knew he was here, and I knew he was happy. I was somewhat relieved that he was here. I felt the presence as soon as the sermon went on. When I stood up to go to the burial, it went away for a while. But as soon as we started waiting outside the grave, I felt it again. He was here until the dirt completely covered the grave, at which point he was gone. I whispered one final thing. “I love you, thank you for everything Vincent. I cannot wait to see you again.†After that, I smiled. After all the pain I endured, I knew I had someone waiting for me. When we meet again, it will be like old times. Chapter 10: “Sit down, Vincent,†a voice told me. “What’s this about?†“I need to thank you. I always knew you were a great man.†“Thank me for what?†“I need to thank you for saving my daughter’s life. I knew you were perfect for my daughter, that if anyone would protect her it would be you.†He said daughter. That can only mean one thing, this was Marianne’s father. I knew he died while I was dating Marianne, but he always seemed like a gruff old man. I never knew he liked me. “I didn’t like any of my daughter’s boyfriends before you. I saw something in you. The day I died, I cried because she was out of my life and that no-one was there to protect her. But then I realized something; you were there. You fulfilled my requirement for my daughter; to be willing to give up your life for her. That takes a real man.†“I… thank you.†“Don’t thank me. Don’t thank me at all. Thank you.†I am reminded of what I thought of Marianne on the day of my death; that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. Now, I never expected my life to be cut so short. But I did end up spending the rest of my life with her. THE END 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGamerGal Posted March 9, 2013 Share Posted March 9, 2013 Great story! Better than what I could write Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Netsrac Posted March 9, 2013 Share Posted March 9, 2013 This is a great, touching and well written story and I really like it but it seems to be more of a story about forgiveness than drunk driving and its consequences. You did hit the spot with "loosing your loved ones" and "death itself" tho. Also you could have added one or two chapters about Mr. McLloyd and what he had to go thru to show how he as the drunk man who started this mess felt. Please don´t get me wrong, I still think that this is a really, really, really great story and I look forward to seeing another one. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
giadrosich Posted March 9, 2013 Share Posted March 9, 2013 My uncle was hit by a drunk driver when I was little. I'll never forget when my family went to visit him in the hospital--he had woken up and didn't really remember anybody, not even his own kids. He had suffered brain damage. He eventually got a little better with time, but he was never quite right again after that, always forgetting, looking off into space, things of that sort. Drunk driving really does ruin many families, and I hope one day there won't be a problem with it. But humans are humans. Your story was very touching, thank you for sharing. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gump Posted March 9, 2013 Author Share Posted March 9, 2013 Thanks guys! I was going to extend this story due to the fact that I really didn't have the time to present nor write it. So Netsrac you may just get your extra chapter or two soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Netsrac Posted March 9, 2013 Share Posted March 9, 2013 Hell yeah! Can´t wait. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stryfe Posted March 9, 2013 Share Posted March 9, 2013 Very well written. I enjoyed it. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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