Sairek Ceareste Posted April 16, 2012 Share Posted April 16, 2012 Hello, everyone. In my introduction topic, I said that I was a writer and that I desperately needed critique for my writing. I want to publish books someday, and Ethereal Elixir is one of the stories I would like very much to publish sometime, someday. Note, that this will be a lot of reading. It's going to be a series of books, big books (I hope...), so you should of course be expecting a lot of text. First of foremost, Let me describe the story a little bit. It contains minor spoilers of the first few chapters, but nothing super majorly important and it's pretty early on. Ethereal Elixir is a story that follows the eight-year-old boy Prince named Sairek Ceareste (whoisnotmebyanymeans) whom has to uphold the responsibility of being second in command of his kingdom, a step below his father, the King, when his mother passed away when he was only age 3, stricken with a very odd disease before Sairek was even born. Fortunately for him, the disease hadn't seemed to effect him, but his mother died away a few years later weakened too much by his birth. Sairek is a magician apprentice, learning the basics of the four elements of the energy in the air known as Ethereal which fuels all living things and magicians commonly use to cast spells. The energy is provided from the world tree, known as Yggdrasil which is located in the middle core of the world. Sairek takes strong interest in Yggdrasil and the world, but is forced to stay inside the castle due to his father sheltering him because he not only fears for his son's safety, but because Sairek needs to preform not only his own duties, but his mother's duties sometimes as well. It is when Sairek gets a tip off that something is going wrong with Yggdrasil that threatens the entire world, as well as himself, that causes Sairek to get the idea to leave the castle, despite his father's wishes due to their broken relationship and his strong sense of curiosity. Despite this, he not only wants to try and save Yggdrasil, lured by the fact his staff is crafted from a piece of the Yggdrasil tree, it is pulling him and tell him to go. Along with that, he wants to find out the truth as to what had happened to his mother that caused her to die as well. But, despite Sairek's maturity, intelligence and knowledge for his age, will his inexperience and willingness to explore be his downfall? With too few people knowing and nobody believing him because of him being a child, the weight of the world literally rests on his shoulders. Time gradually ticks and the end of the world draws closer with every passing second. I will be posting the story here, chapter per post every now and then. I spent literally from Christmas to Easter editing the chapters and I'm STILL seeing things wrong with it. I'm simply at my end of rope length in trying to just do this by myself; I'm desperately in need of help and nooooooooobody but like, two of my friends wants to help me, but they're both really busy, so help from them is not very frequent and it's only two people's opinions. If I were to publish a book I would get opinions from a wide variety of people and I need that now as I'm writing the story. Let me tell you a bit about the story: In the editting of my 4 month duration of editing, there was one thing early on in the chapters I did not like, so I had to remove it. That means removing and severely editing every single chapter that event would have effected. I removed it because it was kind of a plot hole that I realized when one of my friends started questioning and critiquing me about it. It was a plothole I could have fixed but the more I thought about it the more I leaned to just removing it. ...I want to avoid a situation like that again for the future chapters I am going to be developing. That was 4 months of time I had to spend editing, changing old content, instead of creating newer content and getting closer to my end goal. If you want the chapter list and read the story chapters before hand to get a list of critiquing stuff ready, that would be awesome. The list for the chapters are here: http://www.writersca...g/Heero/742510/ ...But please don't post critque suggestions for a chapter before I've post the chapter here. I want it to be nice and organized. When I post a chapter, it means I'm ready to hear opinions and change it and that I've done last minute stuff. This way I can get the critique of one chapter all at once, instead of it being scattered in here and there on the thread and it isn't a load of a mess. Even if I could get one person to post their opinions, thoughts and ideas, it would be one person more that I can get insight from other than the two friends I only have right now. If I go against your opinion, or seem like it, don't think of it as me being like "Oh... I did this because blah blah blah..." It usually means I am testing you on how strongly you feel about your opinion, and also to make sure you actually understand the content (Don't worry if you don't. If you don't, then that means I need to make it clearerin text which is just as good as recieving constructive criticism) Please don't judge the story based on typos. My proof reading is absolutely horrendous (although in my defense I have no form of spell/grammar checking at all...). I've proofread the first chapter about 4 times before even posting this. I would not be surprised if there are still a couple dozen errors in there. Every time I proof read it, there were errors I found. Hopefully by now I got at least the bread and butter of them. Finally, please don't tease me or act like an ass if you are going to say it's awful, etc. I'm all for opinions for people who think it's bad and such, everyone is more than welcome to be entitled to their own opinions. Last time I tried posting my writing in a forum like this, I got insulted so bad, I literally cried that day. It was that mean. It almost ended my will to even write and it did for a very very long time. Please don't do that. u-u This post is already very long but instead of making a second post with the chapter, may as well use my resources, yes? So without further ado, I present the first chapter of Ethereal Elixir. Chapter 1: The Binds of my Nobility "Mmm... It's so hard to read in this weak candle light. But if I make it any brighter, then anyone passing by would know somebody is in here... And with how often I do this, it wouldn't be hard for someone to suspect it's me out of bed again... Ah... this is the page... this should tell me what I want to know..." Yggdrasil: Yggdrasil is the tree of life. It is the tree that holds the world together, and produces all life on earth, generally within the form of flora and fauna, but indirectly all creatures and living beings that exist on the planet as well, since creatures require the plants on earth to sustain life. It is said that the tree exists deep within the core of the earth where all of its roots connect around the world. These roots are believed to inject life into the soil that produces plants. The Yggdrasil tree is involved with "The Cycle of Life" (Page 284). The tree consumes the mana-like substance 'Ethereal' (Page 203) to sustain itself. If for any reason the amount of quantity of Ethereal drops to hazardous levels, then the world will begin to decay as a whole; for it is the substance of Ethereal that gives the tree energy within its roots to output the power to keep the world sustained and healthy. If the tree does withdraw too much Ethereal, while such a case has never happened or been recorded, it is rumored that the planet will over burst with life, overcrowding the population. This has not been proven, but suggested and believed as the most accurate theory with the study of the trees' ability to starve for Ethereal which would decrease the amount of total life on the planet. Again, this has not been recorded in history to happen because the tree has be known to not consume more than is required to healthily sustain the planet. "So... what does it mean, exactly? Does the tree have the ability to react and think for itself? Is it just instinct? Maybe it is, kind of like a mother's instinct. In a way, every living creature is a child to the tree... Ethereal... maybe if I learned about it more I can understand the tree better... maybe I can understand my spell casting better too... Page 203... 203..... aha, there." Ethereal: Ethereal, or known as "Ether" for short, is a substance commonly used for alchemical projects, and mana for magicians since it is a substance that can easily be drawn. It is known as the substance of life, and thus it contains the four basic elements the world is made up of. This is why it is popular to withdraw for magicians because it is more plentiful than oxygen in the air which we breathe. As long as there is a place that has plant life, the substance will be present. Even so, it can still exists in areas such as wastelands or deserts, but the amount of it is significantly reduced. It is believed that this is why deserts and wastelands exist; because there is not enough Ether to sustain plant life there for anything else to live and grow. While Ether is known for its medical properties, it is however too little on the surface to help cure wounds unless concentrated, such as concocted into a potion. Ethereal is far more concentrated and common in caves, and deep sections of the planet. Ethereal is released from the soil, and since all living life consumes the substance, when that living being or plant decomposes or wilts, the Ethereal is released back within the soil, which is reused by Yggdrasil, the Tree of Life (Page 167) in "The Cycle of Life" (Page 284). Ethereal is a substance consumed by Yggdrasil which is consumed through the trees' roots deep within the planet. It is rumored the highest concentration of Ethereal is where the Yggdrasil tree rests, which is in the center of the planet. "These pages all seem to be linked together... Unfortunately, I already knew everything about Ethereal that seems to be in this book. It's a little weird that this book would write about basic knowledge stuff like this... Since Yggdrasil and Ethereal are connected with the 'Cycle of Life', maybe if I read that I'd understand better." The Cycle of Life: The Cycle of life combines the Yggdrasil Tree (Page 167) and Ethereal (Page 203). The Yggdrasil Tree consumes Ethereal as food. This in turn produces life for the planet, such as creatures, and plants. If a creature were to die, then Ethereal is released from the corpse, which eventually will make it back into the soil for the Yggdrasil Tree to feed on, to produce a new being of life. Things that die, rebirth into something new, which in turn will eventually die again, to once again be reborn into something new. It has been rumored that if this balance were too go unstable, such as the tree not being able to withdraw enough Ethereal, the world would begin to slowly produce less and less life until-- *Slam!* "… … ... ...I was reading that, father... Couldn't you just yell at me instead of scaring me like that next time?" "Sairek... you know what time it is." "…Yes... It's midnight... I know." "...You can’t fool me and play dumb like that. Again, what time is it?" "*Sigh...* It is two hours, seventeen minutes and thirty-eight seconds past midnight, father..." "This is the third day this week I've caught you in here at this type of hour. I am glad that you like studying the systems on how the world works, Sairek. However, you do need to learn when too much is just too much. I can't believe I have to keep asking you to study less of all things! If you can’t get any decent sleep, it won’t do you any good. Considering you will be performing your magic arts tomorrow in front of the public eyes of the people in Marid, I would like to think of you at least trying to being a little bit more responsible." "…I still don’t see why I have to prove myself as a combat magician. My spells are hardly any good for combat and the whole idea of it makes me uncomfortable. I'm only eight-years-old yet, father. It's too soon for you to make me present myself like this! What if I don't learn any more spells for years? I'm going to just look like an idiot..." "Sairek, I know you are disappointed that you cannot cast any major spells, but you are not even nine years of age yet. Most children your age can only at least cast one or two spells at the very best, and those are generally from the same element. You can cast one spell from each of the four elements. You should be proud, even if they are minor, it is a great accomplishment!" " Oh really... and just what am I to possibly do in a combat situation then, father that you are going to be putting me in? Soak my foe with a jet of water? Make them annoyed by having wind blow in their face? Throw chunks of dirt at him without using my hands? The only decent combat spell I even know is 'balinzer'; but the heat from the flame is too dangerous to use because it would be considered lethal and I could light the grass on fire with it if my concentration goes awry..." Sairek closed his eyes and sighed as he looked away from his father and straight ahead of him at the wall. His gaze then drifted down to his lap as he frowned as he spoke again. "...It’d be much more efficient to actually just whack my enemy over the head with my staff... not to fight and show off spells that do nothing. Balinzer, the one spell I’m even remotely proud of... and I can’t even use it on my enemy tomorrow." "Do not be worried. You know the combat is nothing more than a mere villager who’s volunteered to help you in your studies, it's also for your mentors to help realize what else you need to improve on and determine the next few subjects to work on next." Sairek turned his head away in defiance, but his father continued on. "No harm will come of you and the public knows already. They just want nothing more to see your progress. You are after all, their future..." "More like they just want something to laugh at, if you ask me… This entire thing is ridiculous." "They will laugh at you for sure if you fall asleep standing up because you didn't go to bed. It’s time for you to get to sleep. Don’t make yourself feel worse by feeling the effects of drowsiness to be the first thing to welcome you tomorrow." ".....Yes, father..." Sairek got a pat on the shoulder before he heard his father step away back out to the hallway. Sairek eyed the candle which he had used to dimly light the room. He positioned his hand towards the candle. The palm of his hand opened up. "Wuaie," he whispered softly motioning his hand to blow out the candle. Instead, all the flame did was dance around as a weak wind blew that couldn’t even overpower one single flame. Sairek grunted in disgust and disappointment. It was possible to blow it out had he been holding his staff, the energy was much easier to draw from it ten-fold... but he left that in his bedroom chamber. Without the staff, he was literally incapable of casting spells except for results that were like this. His staff was the best type of staff there was; and Sairek believed the only reason he could cast spells and make as much progress as he did was because of it; not because he was a good learner. It was the staff that was great; not him... Defeated by a mere candle flame, he hissed the flame out by pinching it with his index finger and thumb. The library nearly instantly turned black. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * The morning sun streaked through the bedroom window, shining on Sairek’s upper torso as his maid, Laure, was dressing him up for preparation for the day. He was standing and was only wearing undergarments as his only clothing for the moment. Sairek, despite his studying and being holed up in the castle nearly every single day, was still semi athletic. His formal clothes were far from light. When he had first put them on years ago, Sairek had trouble just walking in them. They may as well had been weighted clothing for training. Over the years, Sairek had grown used to the burden they were. As his size grew, the size of the clothing had to be replaced and as a result only got heavier, as his clothes were generally knitted now and then to accommodate his growing body. Laure handed him some light blue, and semi baggy leggings, which Sairek responded by pulling them up his legs. The first part of many for his formal clothing. "You seem troubled, master. Are you that worried?" Laure asked him. "Yes. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that you can tell... then again, I suppose subconsciously I want people to notice." Sairek muttered distastefully as he pulled the pant leggings up. "You will do fine, I assure you. You are known to be able to think instantly to solutions at problems that come your way. If you keep thinking negatively it will impact your judgement in the decisions you need to make." Was the response she gave. Laure, was a middle-aged woman. Her hair was naturally white which made her look older than she was, but she didn't really have any wrinkles on her face yet, although they would soon be coming. She wore a dress all the maids in the castle wore, a plain purple dress, decorated with snowy white patterns on the front. The violet on her dress matched the color of her deep clear eyes. She was a little bit taller for a female than most were. She had been here in the castle for a long time; longer than Sairek himself had been at the castle despite him being here since the day he had been born. Sairek lifted his arms, as next a rather padded sky blue shirt which matched his pants perfectly, went over his head and fit onto the rest of his body, temporarily blinding him with the cloth until his head popped out from the other side of the shirt. Laure pushed the child’s dark brown hair back into place from any ruffling the shirt had caused it. Sairek dropped his arms, as he bowed his head down somewhat, as next a light-yellow tabard went over his head; hanging down his back and in front of him down to his knees on both sides. Sairek lift his head up to look at Laure, as she held up a light brown leather belt, and secured it around his waist and over the ta-bard. This kept the cloth from flailing everywhere and getting in the way while keeping the look. The belt was thin and sunk into his the thickness of his clothes when it was secured tightly.. After that, Sairek bowed his head down one more time. A red cape went over his head; the long cloth pushed by Laure to drape along his back; stretching down enough to only be inches off of the ground had he been standing upright. Laure tied the front of the cape, shaping it almost like a ribbon to make sure the cloth wouldn't just fall off behind Sairek. Next, a dark blue hood went over his head, the insides of the hood was golden yellow. It rested on top of the red cape. The hood had a sparkling white jewel attached to it, and when placed on correctly, it would be at the center of Sairek’s upper collar. Sairek soon pulled himself back, standing erect as his head tilted downwards to stare at the gem, seeing it was placed right. It was after all, his deceased mother’s. He wanted to make sure all could see it. To him, it was the most important piece of his formal set. Sairek nodded in confirmation that it was placed correctly before sitting down in the seat behind him which was made of hardwood and had a red cushion on it. He soon lifted up his right leg, he felt his foot slipping into light brown leather boots. Once they were on, he dropped that leg, lifting his other one, with the same process. Laure reached into a bag seated beside her, as silver ankle guards for his shoes were now being inserted into place, not only decorating the boots with the silver to show his royal status, but also protecting his ankles from too much damage. They were silver, but made of thick, hardened, reinforced steel underneath. Not too many things could damage his ankles easily with either a sharp weapon, or a blunt weapon. The silver steel was good at cushioning the impact. Sairek soon held out his arms in front of him. Brown leather gloves slid into his hands. The gloves were actually rather simple, although made with excellent quality. On the back of each glove, was a silver plate, just like his ankle guards, it was there to protect him. The steel however, was not quite as thick as his ankles, but still provided great protection. Sairek wiggled his fingers when the gloves were fitted on, getting used to their feel for only a moment. They were secured on properly. Sairek soon pushed himself up and was guided over to his bedroom mirror. He looked at himself before Laure tapped him on the shoulder. He looked, seeing she held his staff. He nodded, taking it. It looked like a simple gnarled wooden staff. Crafted just for him and thus it was for his size. However, the wood was from Yggdrasil itself. A root from the tree to be specific; and it wasn’t even the entire root; it was but a 'small' chunk of it. It took months to cut into the wood and craft it into a small staff for his size. The Yggdrasil tree's bark rivaled the durability of diamond. Diamond seemed to have won; but Yggdrasil's bark was a very close second to being the hardest material in the world. Diamond tools had to be used to even scratch the bark let alone taking 3 months to cut out a small chunk that took even longer to craft. These staffs were very rare because not just anybody could get them, any since Yggdrasil and Ethereal were pretty much connected, it naturally drew in Ethereal for spell casting, which was why Sairek felt the staff was more special than he was. Sairek could draw only the tiniest fractions of the energy by himself and that was why his spells were so pathetic. He could wield the staff fine as a child since it was for his size, meaning he could use it just as any adult could use a normal staff. It could be used as a walking stick for him too, which Sairek had a habit of doing when he was not using it for anything else even though he could walk on both feet just fine. It could be wielded in one hand to cast spells; despite how weak he believed they were. He could also hold it two-handed to protect himself if it ever came to melee combat... which he practiced often. Since the staff was made out of a root from Yggdrasil, it meant that most, if not all weapons made out of metal would not be able to even chip off a piece of his staff. In fact, the staff might be able to break the weapons instead of getting chopped or broken by them. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Conker Posted April 16, 2012 Share Posted April 16, 2012 While I of course could not read it all, I skimmed through a tiny bit. It's pretty good. Sent from my EVO 4G using Tapatalk 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sairek Ceareste Posted April 18, 2012 Author Share Posted April 18, 2012 While I of course could not read it all, I skimmed through a tiny bit. It's pretty good. Sent from my EVO 4G using Tapatalk 2 Thanks, although I'm getting views I really wish people would post in their opinions. >.< I prepared both chapter two and three today. So I will post them both up. Chapter 2: Test of Wits Sairek let out an exhausted sigh, grabbing the tail end of his red cape to wipe sweat off of his forehead. It was blazing hot and the fact the sun shone down on him directly was not helping him feel better with his paranoia. Laure walked beside him, but she did not seem to notice the child dirtying his own clothing like that. In the child's mind, it made little difference; they would be getting dirty anyways. Sairek held his staff in one hand, using it as a walking stick. They were leaving the castle which was seated on top of a spiraling trail that led downwards and directly into the village, Marid, below. The castle was built on top of large hill that had a flat top. Back long ago, it was great to stop enemy invasions. The castle was in a very great defensive position, for mountains surrounding nearby the castle meant intruders could only come from one way, which was further reinforced by the wall surrounding the village. From the castle, you could see well past the wall. Sairek surveyed the town and let out yet another sigh. People were already organized down below, waiting for them -- for him. A wave of helplessness washed over him as his mind raced in panic. He only now realized how badly he didn’t want to do this little performance. He knew he didn't want to do it, obviously; but he was scared witless now. Of course, it was too late to back out now, they had expected him to arrive and the people below had seen him. Sairek lifted his staff and gripped it tightly with two hands in nervousness. He looked like a shy little child now, although that was perhaps quite true. He was a shy little child. A nervous little child. If it wasn't for the fact he was walking, his shaking would be very visable despite the day being blazing hot. When the group of soldiers and he got down to village level, all of the villagers knelt down before him. He felt his cheeks blush a little. He didn’t like the fact he was treated above anyone else; he knew he was literally the second most important individual in the entire country where as only his father was above him. But he didn't see himself as being above anybody, whether he was Prince or not. He wanted to view himself as equal to everyone else and everyone else equal to him. This was one of the main reasons he was against this type of event in the first place... albeit, the other reason was for his own personal health. He gripped the staff with his two hands tighter in response to all the looks in the crowd that expected the most top quality work a Prince could give. He had to suppress the shaking of his body and gulped down his breakfast that wanted to rise out as he managed to clear any hint that he was uncertain in his voice. He had been lying like this, masking his emotions for years against the public. He was a seasoned pro at it now. “...Please, all rise.†He commanded them, although the tone sounded like has was just asking them to rise instead of making it an order. All at once, all the villagers rose from their knees onto their feet. Having everyone stand made Sairek feel a little bit more comfortable. He closed his eyes, rapidly thinking for a moment on what he should say next. Despite the fact he hated being the center of attention like this, he was a quick thinker, just as Laure had stated in his bedroom chamber. He acted far more intelligent than someone his own age should have been. Being Prince, it was very hard to have time to act like a child. He wasn't allowed out of the castle and so he tried to satisfy his questions by digging into books since he couldn't find out about things himself through exploration and experience, which only further enhanced his intelligence and maturity. Sairek opened his eyes staring at the crowd in front of him. His next paragraph of speech had been thought out in only mere seconds. “I assume you are all gathered here today to see the fruits of my studies in pursuit of following my father’s profession as a magician,†Sairek commented. “And today I’ve come out of the castle to reveal the answer’s to anyone's curiosity to how my studies are going... While I disagree any magic I own can be useful for combat as of yet, nor do I wish to ever wish to practice in the art to harm another individual..." He added that last bit almost in a sour tone, but managed to resist it. Still, had anyone been close to him, they would see the irritated look that still showed in his eyes due to his father constantly nagging him to do such a thing despite his best efforts to hide it. "...I am doing this as a test of my own wit to see how creative I am in using my novice magical abilities to somehow aid me in combat. This will also be my first combat experience I have ever done at the same time. The goal of this exercise is to help me further in my studies and dream..." He almost said that line sourly as well; he didn't want to be a combat magician at all and thought this entire exercise as stupid. "...It is also to help aid me in my experience for the future. Nobody in this exercise shall be seriously injured in any way." "Or... at least that's how it's supposed to go..." He thought to himself bitterly. Sairek let out a breath. He spoke more than he imagined he would; he commonly made that mistake in public speaking. He resumed once again though. “I trust you all have organized together and have chosen a volunteer for me?†He asked the audience. A villager stepped out of the crowd. He was bigger and more muscular than normal; the local blacksmith of the village, Foar. “Aye, we have master apprentice.†Sairek blinked as his pupils rose up to look at Foar's face. “…Who have you chosen then...?†“Yer’ staring at ‘im." “You?†Sairek asked out loud calmly. “You!?†Sairek thought in panic inside of his head. The man was almost double his size as far as height and perhaps overall mass went. “Aye, master! The village was curious to see two things: The first was to see which one could win; brute strength or clever wit. And the second was to see if size truly does matter!†He said; which to Sairek, sounded like a bellow. “...I am so dead.†Sairek thought out to himself hopelessly. Fighting the dread that wanted to surface onto his face, he hid his emotions behind his mask of royalty; He nodded in approval. “Alright, a good test this will be truly!" "...Not..." He added sarcastically at the end of the statement in his head. "How could it be? If I could use 'balinzer', I would be fine... but I can't... "....Or.... wait... can I...?" Sairek cleared his throat quietly, as it felt dry as he spoke in a raised voice so all could hear his order. "Everyone, please step away to make room for us two. At least thirty paces back if you would all please.†Sairek gulped as the people stepped back, making room for the two to battle. Sairek looked around quickly with his eyes, not turning his head. If he turned his head, it would make him look confused. Even small things like that he had to worry about from the people -- they always had an odd way of expecting the highest from him, but assuming the worst. “This shall be the rules," Sairek spoke, his eyes still wandering around. "If you manage to pin me down for longer than ten seconds, then the victory shall go to you. If I manage to knock you off both of your feet in any possible way and you collapse down onto the ground, then the victory goes to me. Understand, that in any event, if either of us get put in a position that would normally require the other to beg for mercy, either of us can gain victory from that method as well. Do you accept this?†“Aye, master! Luck be wit ya laddie.†Foar encouraged. “I’m going to need it…†Sairek thought to himself bitterly. It was a good thing his pants were somewhat baggy and the wind was blowing the cloth of them here and there. For his legs were trembling badly. The pants and wind hid the shaking legs. Someone began counting down from 3. Once the count hit 0, Foar ran at Sairek. Sairek nearly hesitated at seeing such a large figure rushing at him. Fear gripped him as he approached, Sairek managed to lift up his staff, pointing it at the man’s eyes. After that, the fear disappeared. He reacted on nothing but instinct from his practice as a look of seriousness swept over his face. “Wuaie…!†he chanted, the wind began to blow harder from a gradual breeze to a strong, but not harsh gust. The same spell that couldn't even blow out a candle flame in the very early morning hours was capable of suddenly bringing up gust of wind. With the man’s giant mass, it did not do much to slow him down more than a little as he fought against the wind. This was not enough to really help Sairek's position in any possible way. Sairek gritted his teeth a little. He was hoping the man would have been a bit lighter. This trick was going to be difficult to pull off. The child's cape flapped madly from his spell. Sairek soon pointed his staff upwards. Like he did with his wind spell, he concentrated on the energy around him, the Ethereal energies from Yggdrasil. Drawing the energy from the air into his staff and then harvesting the water element of the energy. “Waert!†He chanted out when he felt enough had been absorbed. From the head of his staff, a blast of water gushed out upwards, spreading and thinning out into the air as it was taken by the force of the wind. Now it was like it was raining, drenching Foar, along with the grass as the wind was blowing into the blacksmith since the water was coming from Sairek’s side, the Prince himself was not getting drenched. Foar covered his face from the water and soon began slipping on the grass from it being wet, but he caught himself easily with every little slip he made. At the very least, he was stalled from his head on charge. “Woah, woah! Nice try there Master! It’s not gonna work though!†he boasted. Sairek clenched his teeth tighter. He thought of that plan all morning and on the way here from the castle. It probably would have succeeded if it was anyone but Foar... Sairek soon extinguished the water spraying and lowered his staff back down. Unlike the wind, it required his staff as an aiming catalyst. He couldn’t cast any other spells if that one was in use. He didn't need it anymore anyways. He did what he needed, which was soaking the ground and making it slippery. Feeling a lack of Ethereal of the water element, and the wind element was quickly draining out from where he was standing, he moved to position himself elsewhere by taking a few steps backwards from the blacksmith who was getting closer. If he moved too quickly, he would risk severing the connection with the energy that he was using to keeping 'Wuaie' alive. He began chanting again. “Balinzer!†A warm blast of hot air pointed at the grass, he was pleased when a heavy cloud of steam began rising up, hiding his presence. He quickly moved out of his position, running within the steam that was completely spreading and engulfing the area. "Balinzer can be a lethal spell... but balinzer really is just hot air that can be ignited when burned enough... if I weaken the spell, all it will be is extremely hot air that can catch things on fire... with the grass wet cold and wet, it should produce plenty of steam to cover me." He thought to himself. Sairek felt it was ironic that he had to weaken the spell considerably to make sure he didn't light the grass on fire instead; the spell to him was weak enough as it was. Foar bellowed. “Bahahah! Clever again master! But I’ll catch ya sooner or late--“ “Ethirul!†Faor nearly lost his balance again as the ground he was on began shifting a bit. The flat ground soon becoming more uphill, the grass was still slippery and it made him have to whirl his arms around to try and keep his balance. The wind changed to the opposite direction of where it was blowing before. From behind him, he heard Sairek yell out, as the child charged towards him from behind him. Using the slippery grass along with the powerful wind to give him momentum as Sairek bent down, sliding on the grass towards Foar. He laid on his back, not caring if he got his noble clothing soaked or stained. While he slipped across the ground, he held out his staff with his right hand. His left hand was used to balance himself as he slid. When he slid under the blacksmith, both sides of the staff bunted the back of the man’s legs. Sairek knew he succeeded in his plan as he continued to travel on through with little interruption. Had he failed, the staff hitting the man would have stopped him. To reassure himself he succeeded, he confirmed it with the giant thud and “oof!†that escaped the man. Sairek grinned, the crowd was applauding him! He somehow managed to do it! He won! He turned around to face the man and soon gasped. The crowd wasn’t applauding at him, they were applauding that Faor caught himself. He fell down, yes, but he wasn’t on the ground. He caught himself with both hands behind him on a slippery downhill slant. Sairek growled in his throat, trying to hide back the frustration and annoyance that demanded to show. Faor had to fall on his back or stomach, and lose both feet on the ground for him to win; not catch himself with both hands. “Phew, that was close!†The blacksmith let out. Quickly repositioning himself so that he was standing on two legs once again. By now, Sairek had exhausted all of his plans to attempt to knock his opponent down. Although he wasn’t afraid anymore of not putting a decent display of wit; he was sure he accomplished that much despite his doubts. He however had no idea how to knock this man off of his two legs again without doing the same trick twice, which he was positive Foar wouldn't fall for. He had exhausted everything he had... there was nothing left he could think of. There was only so much he could do with 4 basic spells and he had exhausted almost every unique use he could think of. He yelped as the blacksmith began rushing towards him, reaching out to grab him, Sairek panicked, and held out his staff, quickly chanting the magical word “Ethirul!†to once again make a bump in the ground to mess up the man’s sprinting. He made the hill as tall as the spell would allow him to raise with his magical willpower in his panicked state. Before Sairek even realized it, the man slipped off the ground as he would have slid off of a ramp. Sairek panicked as the man was now flying right towards him. He quickly pointed down, planning to blast water to project him out of harms way. “Wae--†There was no Ethereal left in the area. Sairek realized he was standing in the area he had moved from in the first place. All the mana he collected would only be used as a small squirt; not a blast. Sairek braced himself as he soon felt the man collide into him, sweeping him off of his feet. The child let out a grunt as he crashed into the ground; the impact of the landing shocking his body as he let loose the grip on his staff from his hands and lost the weapon completely. He slid to a stop in the slippery grass. Sairek quickly as possible began to push himself up, and half stumbled and sprinted towards his staff. He almost reached it before he was tackled down to the ground, and felt his body being pinned against the floor. He gasped out, trying to break free of the hold, but he knew his childish body was no match for that of a hard working blacksmith, even if his weighted clothes did help to broaden his own muscles. He was annoyed, he could probably do something to get out of this situation if he could grab his staff that was only inches out of reach, alas, before he could think of anything to wiggle his way out of this situation, ten seconds had already passed. The winner was announced, and Sairek mentally scolded himself harshly for being so foolish as to let go of the staff in the first place. With a defeated sigh his head slunk downwards towards the ground as he gritted his teeth, angry at himself. ".....How useless can I turn out to be...? I can't even combat an unarmed blacksmith and win by simply knocking him off of his two feet, without being captured like a run-away cat! I'm... I'm so useless...! The first major rule of combat for a magician is to never lose the staff no matter what...! How could I possibly ever become even a decent magician if I've done nothing more then fail every goal set by myself and the expectations of others...?" Chapter 3: Childish Dispute “Master Apprentice, are you feeling alright?†Sairek heard Laure ask. “…I do not wish to talk about it right now... I made a stupid mistake... The worst one I could have even have made back there...†Sairek muttered. “The longer you keep it in, the tougher it will be to endure it.†She advised. “Those are true words. But I only want to talk about it when the timing is right. It may be sooner than you think...†He grumbled in response. “Very well then, we shall see...†As they walked back up the hill to the castle gates, Sairek waited patiently for the gates to open for him. Sairek wasted almost no time walking on through when they did. As he walked, he glanced at one of the guards. “Tell father that once I get myself cleaned up, I wish to have word with him. I imagine I should be no longer than twenty minutes.†He ordered. His tone of voice was flat. Laure who was with him always, knew that he used this tone when holding back anger or frustration (in this case it was both) inside of himself. “Yes, Master.†The guard answered back, bowing in obedience, before moving his way into the castle. “Do you wish for your clothes to be changed?†Laure asked him cautiously once they were clear of the ears of the soldiers. “No, leave the dirt, dampness and the odor of my sweat stain the air around me for now. Let father know just how much I... 'appreciate' what he made me go through." Sairek answered back in the same flat tone. "You are angered at his majesty...†Sairek glanced back, a stern look on his face, obviously hinting the anger in his face he hid from the guard. His hold on his anger was slowly slipping out from his hold. “Yes... yes, I am.†Sairek merely answered with. Sairek knew that Laure would have known that he was going to answer with something else, but he had changed his mind. That alone showed Sairek's maturity that differed from the other children; he didn't speak the first thing that was on his mind. “Then why tell the lord you are cleaning up and have a twenty minute delay?†Laure asked him curiously. Sairek looked away and closed his eyes. “I want to be angry when I speak to father... but I don’t want to be as furious as I currently am right now now. No success will come to either of us if we were to quarrel at each other trying to win an argument that will never be won. It is better for me to argue not for the sake of winning said quarrel, but for the sake of merely being understood...†Sairek then let out a light grunt as he shook his head. "That said... father is stubborn as I am since I got it from him... chances are we will just bicker at each other and it will become a heated argument." Laure sighed. A sigh that expressed something like; 'here we go again'. “I understand, Master. I shall leave you be until after your... 'discussion' then.†Laure turned around and walked away from the Prince. Sairek didn’t necessarily look back at her to watch her leave. Instead he bit his bottom lip and moved his way towards his bedchamber to attempt to calm himself down. “Master, I thought you were going to clean up?†Asked the soldier whom Sairek had ordered to go inform his father. “I lied.†Sairek admitted flatly. “I apologize for making you say false words to my father. But it was for good reason. Is he expecting me?†“Y-Yes. You may enter now...†The guard pushed the door open, as Sairek walked on through, dragging his staff on the red carpet. Sairek walked up the steps to where his father lay seated on his throne. His father leaned away from the chair and stared at the eight-year-old before him. “Sairek, what is th--“ his father began “Clear the room...†Sairek cut him off. “Sairek, you can’t--“ “Clear the room.†Sairek repeated. His voice sterner this time to attempt to subliminally tell his father that he didn’t care what he was going to say about him ordering the soldiers to clear away. "Sairek, you will not ord--" "Clear the room!" "Saire--" "Clear the room, father!!" Sairek had closed his eyes tightly as he shouted, and then swallowed. It was hard for Sairek to disobey his father's words. There were many times where he and his father fought each other mentally like this; testing each others' limits. Sometimes Sairek won, other times he simply folded and gave in. This was one where Sairek would be the victor. His father sighed, motioning for all guards in the room to exit. Following the signal, they all left the room. Sairek remained silent until he finally heard the door close with a loud clank. Almost immediately, Sairek began speaking. “Look at me father. Is the mess that I am your special way of teaching me magic? I’m smelly, sweating, muddy and wet. I had to ‘battle’ a man nearly double my size... That, all for your mere satisfaction into trying to teach me something I don't give a damn about?!†“Sairek, combat doesn’t come with comfort. Sometimes you will face opponents who you are comfortable dealing with, other times, you will not. That is the reality of battle. That too, is the reality of being a King. You are fated to become King when my time is up. You will have to reach far past your comfort zones when you are a King and do things without fear that you wish you wouldn't have to ever do.†“I said I would do the combat when I was ready. Instead you forced me down there and made me embarrass myself all to use me, your son to solidify your own popularity that 'the king's son is special' by using my talent, as little as I believe I have!†“Sometimes you have to fight when you aren’t ready, Sairek! That is why you must always be ready. You should never plan to always be the victor in combat. You got a real taste of what comba--“ “Father, I do not recall wanting to be a soldier for you, or anyone! Just because I want to be a magician, does not mean I am to be used as a a tool for war or you! The heir to the throne or not, I am still a human being, when will you quit treating me as a Prince and treat me as your own son?! I am quite disappointed if you want to raise your one and only 'precious' son this way! Is it too much to ask to just want to be a normal child, where I can play and talk with others my own age? To have at least one friend? You have cut me off from society and shelter me like a bird in a cage bound off from the world! Let me be with others my own age! You want me to learn combat to protect others, yet you protect and shelter me from the very people I'm supposed to protect and will have to make harsh decisions for!†His father was about to speak, but Sairek cut him off with a hand. He closed his eyes turning his back to his father. He opened his eyes as he raised his gaze up to the ceiling, speaking again. “I have a talent and interest in magic and it is in your best interest to help guide me. I get that. But magic is not all about hurting people to help others. It's just like science, father. There are different types of science; some scientists create weapons that are designed to kill people and yet, there are other scientists who invent medicines to help save people from those weapons. Just because you were a magician of war does not mean I wish to be one as well. That is not how I want to follow your footsteps. The way you are forcing me to practice and grow is... is... It is like I am that of a bird locked in a cage... I am safe from harm, but it comes at the cost of my freedom... I will never learn to mature and fly this way, father... I do not want to live a life where I am forced to use my talent for the same thing over and over again... Let alone, be the act of harming other people! The kingdoms are all at peace! We've been at peace for over 300 years!†“Then what do you plan to do with your magic, son?†“I do not know yet. Whatever I feel like doing. Is that not the entire point of one’s life? To have a dream and achieve it? I may be smart, father, but what other child do you know that has decided their dream at that age? You expect too much from me father, just because I was born with the title of Prince, does not automatically give me the abundance of talents and traits that 'normal' people have. Everyone, including every member of the castle; yes father, that includes the both of us, were born equal. Do you expect so much from a peasant's child as you do from me? I hardly think you do. Would you expect a child of nine years of age to be training as a soldier for war and fighting adults as a great idea? I certainly hope not. But if you don't then wait a minute, you expect me to accomplish the same idea and it's okay? Tell me father, how am I any different? What makes me absolute soldier material? Tell me!†“Sairek, the reason I try to push you into magic with combat so much is because it was your mother’s dying wish to--“ “Are you putting her values above mine, just because she’s dead, father!? Am I no more than a mere tool born for this kingdom because you have tried to design me in that way?! You know that if mother was alive, she would destroy you for even thinking about what you have made me do today!!" “Sairek, you misunderstand. Magic and combat does not have to be about war. It can be about protecting what is dear to you as well. She didn’t want you to lose anything dear to you as I’ve had by losing her. You are going to be King. ...So many thugs would love to just kidnap you for ransom; you need to learn to protect yourself as well others and what is important to you.†“Tell me father, what is there for me to protect if you void the opportunity for me to gain something worth protecting?†“You are too young yet to find something worth protecting right now, Sairek.†“If it’s anything I should have taught you already, it is that age doesn’t have any boundaries! How else do you suppose that I am one of the fastest progressing apprentices in the entire continent, with a far higher than average intelligence and maturity, to that of matching an adult? Where in the laws of life does it say age has rules and strict guidelines? Do you know what I would find worth protecting father? A friend! Something as simple as that would be worth protecting! Laure is worth protecting! A peasant is worth protecting even because we are all equal!" “You’re still childish in many ways Sairek. You just don’t notice it." "And now you are not even going to respond to what I say... You're just going to proceed to call me childish? Why can't you even attempt to look at it from my perspective? Isn't that what a King should do for their own people? You can't even do that for your own son!" Sairek let out a “Tch...†in disgust. He had had enough of this. Without saying another word, he spun himself around and began to walk out. “Sairek, where are you going?†His father called out. Sairek stopped temporarily, turning his head to address his father, but not to look at him. “First, I am going to actually clean up -- by myself -- then, I am going to leave these walls and go out without a crowd of people wandering behind me to attract any unwanted attention. Oh, it may be dangerous, but I will risk the fact that I am apparently too useless to protect myself against innocent villagers that are supposively dangerous but whom I am supposively being taught to protect. Your logic makes so little sense that I am literally choking back vomit, father. Shame on you... I can only visualize mother spitting on your face in disgust. Be lucky I don't do such an act for her, because I still love you too much to try despite how much I disgust you for what you are doing to me." He didn’t wait for his father to say anything else, as he tightly gripped his Yggdrasil staff and walked out of the room. Despite his own words of not trying to be too frustrated with his father, it just wasn't meant to be. Maybe his father was right; perhaps he was still childish in some ways after all. But at the same time he was pleased to know for a fact that despite him being a King, his own father was too. And, Sairek wasn't even nine-years-old yet. He was allowed to be childish as long as it wasn't hurting other people. He had the right to be childish; he was still a child. What the hell was his father talking about?! * * * * * * * * * Sairek marched his way down the hallway, opening the door outside of the actual building and continued his way through the cobblestone road towards the exit of the castle walls. He was about to push his way through when a guard marched up and blocked his way. “My apologies Master Apprentice, but I am afraid it is His will to not allow you to leave the castle grounds." “What am I, grounded?†Sairek asked sarcastically. “Actually Master, you are as a matter of fact. You are to report to your bed chamber immediately, or I am to escort you there if you refuse.†A dull look swept across Sairek’s face and the Prince looked away and rolled his eyes. He could believe it, but at the same time he couldn't. Of course his father would play that card out of his sleeve. He felt like bursting out in laughter, but that'd probably only get him in more trouble. His gaze returned back to the soldier. “I see no difference as I’m already bound to these walls, not only by night, but during the day as well. Father is a bit foolish to think shrinking the distance of which I am allowed to walk by a few hundred feet is really going to make me upset. Nonetheless, I have no business to report to my chamber at this time. I simply wish to be alone. So with that said, soldier. You will step aside.†“The King’s orders are above yours, Master Apprentice. I will not move aside.†"You won't? Well. That's just a pity then, isn't it?" Sairek said cooly. He pointed at the healthy and fresh green grass to his right with his staff. He starred at it before looking at the guard with a humorous smile on his face. He held the staff at the direction of the grass before flatly chanting out “Balinzer!†A small jet of weak flame shot out from the staff. It wasn’t very much fire, but it did spark a flame in the grass, which soon ignited and began to burn into a live fire. The guard looked at Sairek in shock, as the boy repositioned his staff at his side, he looked up to the guard and merely smirked. “Let me on through, or let the grass burn and the fire grow bigger. I’ll take the blame for leaving and will admit to what I have done, but if you leave the fire going, then expect the damages to be out of your paycheck for not stopping it. Oh, and don’t call for help either, because I just walked this way, and there is nobody nearby. I wouldn't do such a bold more like this if I wasn't sure that someone else might be close by, mind you.†The guard looked back and forth between the boy and the growing fire on the grass. He let out a groan of nervousness before soon surrendering, leaving the gates to go pat down the flame that was burning the fresh green grass. “If father demands where I am, then say that I am at the beach.†Sairek informed the guard, watching him pat down the fire as he stepped towards the gate and pressed his left hand against the door. “Are you actually going to the beach, Master?†The soldier asked, as he beat down the fire with his foot. “Not directly, but yes I will be there.†Sairek confirmed. “I don’t want to attract too much attention in the village with me wandering about unguarded. Too many questions will be raised. Even the villagers know that father never lets me out of the castle... at least most do.†“What are you going to be doing at the beach Master? Surely you don’t plan to... go for a swim?†Sairek opened the gate, but stood at the door with it open as his gaze dropped down to the floor. “...I do not have any intentions of swimming. But if there is a case that I will be swimming, it will not be in the bliss of the ocean water." Sairek commented, before closing his eyes. "...Rather, it would be within the sorrowful waters of my own tears.†Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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